My Pocket

what i wear

Have you seen the Self Portrait Challenge site? It's been around for so long and I've only just stumbled across them - but I'd like to try now! It's something I dared myself to do in February and I did do it for a while, but lately I've dropped it, due to lack of inspiration. Having a challenge every month could be exactly what I need, putting some magic back into it. For November it's what you wear:

...post an image of your everyday outfit - for work, or the weekend or whenever - and explain where you are going, what you are wearing and where the clothes came from - do they have personal significance or does the colours or fabrics have a meaning for you? Do you wear a particular brooch every Sunday or do you have a favourite hat that you only wear while gardening - explain your idiosyncrasies - perhaps you wear pink on Wednesdays - or your grandpas old socks to bed…

In this photo I am about to go off for a walk and have just come back from work. I am free to wear pretty much what I want for work, but I've dared myself over a few years to inch from the casual and non-descript to the comfortable but distinctive. I'm still exploring what my very own style is, but I've learnt so much about what I feel comfortable in, what suits me and what limits I will go to. For instance, I wear skirts and dresses more often than not these days, whereas a year or two ago that was unheard of. In the beginning I kept getting compliments (at least I think they were compliments) along the lines of - "Wow, I've never seen you wear a skirt before!".

However, at this time I also found a pair of favourite Wrangler jeans that I still love the fit of and wear often, they're in the photo above. I found them in a charity shop I go to lots as for the moment my studies are taking their toll, but I'm very happy searching for second hand clothes, it suits me very well. Where I live there are quite a lot of well-off people who can afford to buy good quality lines and give them away after the first use if they're not happy. You never know what you might find and the atmosphere in those shops is so much more relaxed and content - the way shopping should be I think.

You can't see it really, but I'm wearing a green and white striped longsleeved top underneath my pullover, that was also a second hand find, brand new. I adore stripes you might notice. The woollen pullover is from White Stuff a few years ago and I haven't worn it much lately but decided to pull it out again. It's only flaw is it's too short - I don't like anything that leaves my midriff bare, both for vain reasons and health-wise; exposure to cold. The jacket is a boiled wool one that I adore, it's perfect for slightly chilly autumn days, and I bought that in Reading on one of my college weekends this autumn. I'll show you the whole thing in a later post. The scarf is a woollen, sage green in a wonderful slanting and overlapping weave that was made in India, don't know anything more about it except it's wonderfully warm for being so light. I've been in love with greens over the last year - soft, natural and muted colours.

i made that

I made something this weekend, I actually made something! I have been wanting to sew my own clothes for so long now, but never had the courage to just go ahead and dive in. Yesterday I found some remnant navy blue linen in the fabric shop and thought of this top in one of my Japanese craft books.

So I bought some seagreen lace trim to go with it, all the time thinking it will end up like the other projects I've got the materials for that are still lying on the shelf, and then to my surprise went home and promptly sewed it together. I made mistakes in every stage of the game but I enjoyed it. It turned out not quite like the picture and I skipped the ribbon and bow altogether, but I like it, wonky seams and all.

It's the third garment I have ever sewn, the first two were in school - a white cotton vest and a navy silky ballgown type dress for the 'prom' age 16 (both plain as can be, didn't like frills then either. boy was I fidgety in that dress - this just ain't me). I've been thinking about sewing my own clothes for the last year or two, because I rarely find what I am looking for in the shops, I don't like the fabrics they use and I feel bad about the working conditions of the people putting them together. If I could have it my way I would have mainly woven fabrics in my clothes, instead of jersey which wears out and loses shape so quickly. (Knitted things are the exception of course.) Linen and woven cotton just become more beautiful the more wear they get, softening, getting worn and fading colour with grace.

My choice of clothes has changed dramatically over the last two or three years, along with me feeling much better in myself. The better I felt, the more I felt I deserved to wear clothes that make me feel good, and the more clothes I wore that made me feel beautiful and comfortable, the happier I became. I've been a tomboy most of my life, I never was a dress-and-ponytail-girl, and it took me months to gradually stop feeling like an impostor wearing skirts and eventually dresses. Now that's about all I wear! I suppose it's a romantic/bohemian style - long swoshy skirts, feminine dresses, layers of this and that and a hodge-podge of stripes, flowers and dots. I like it simple though - plain muted colours and natural materials, classically cut mostly. Still, sometimes I glimpse myself in the mirror before going out in the morning and think "Caroline, I don't think anyone else would ever wear that combination of clothes."

Except a gypsy maybe. I like gypsies.

hello september

Goodbye summer colours, light evenings, warm breezes, rustling in the tree tops, bare legs, swims in the pool and lying on the grass.

Hello September, rusty, burning, vibrant colours, high blue skies, fresh breezes, rustling piles of leaves, autumn coat, woollen mittens and dark evenings for cuddling up indoors. I love autumn, I do I do. It inspires me like no other season, thinking what to wear, what new things to learn, walks to go on, places to see, making changes to my life, planning ahead, pouring over books, pulling out my soup recipes, picking up my knitting, wearing my beloved woollen hats again, skipping down the road on a good breezy sunshiny day.

What do you look forward to in autumn?

Some things of summer I bring with me though - I still wear my summer dresses, above the warmer layers, I still wear my sandals for as long as I can, with woollen socks, I wait to put on a coat until I have to because I love wearing only a knitted cardigan or pullover and wrapping my pashmina around me instead. I like sitting on the grass on a dry day, smelling the dry leaves and the soil, lying down to watch the clouds skim by high above, listening to the wind and the trees moving. I want to sit outside to eat my lunch way into October or November, wrapping up warm.

This feels like autumn to me:

"Read me a story inside
Lie if you like
But make the details
True in my mind
We need to feel
Absolutely wrapped
In your glove
Lie back and listen
As I read you my life"

The Wind-up Bird, Tunng

(I know I've recommended that song before, but I'll do it again, it's so sweet.)

Inside, I want to listen to stories, to magic, colourful scenes, details that spring out, seeds planted that grow into dreams. I wish you that and more. Have a good night!

Oui, c'est beau Paris

Paris started out just as rainy as Britain, oh bummer... We hid under umbrellas through the worst of it, just short of reaching the Eiffel tower (see it just beyond the trees). Wide rivulets were forming on the paths and we had some fun navigating across those, or exploring the Mekong delta which is how my dad experienced it. He can rarely take anything out of the ordinary seriously. Actually, not much of the ordinary either, now that I think of it. He's the one holding the umbrella in the picture by the way.

I love the French newspaper and magazine stands everywhere. Not just a great place for some gossip, but like an open-air bookshop too. That's my mum in the picture.

I'm fond of the fruit and veg displays outside the shops, I keep a lookout for them in Britain too. There's something so wonderfully old-fashioned or exotic about it. We managed to find a small market too which made my day. The berries were sold there. Along the little square where a line of shops - the greengrocer, the fishmonger, the butcher, the charcuterie, the boulangerie (bakery) and the winery, all in a row!

Mum and I found a pair of sandals each - her red with white dots, mine black.

Carl Fredrik (my brother) and I enjoyed ourselves in the evening with taking night-time shots out the window of the neon lights beyond the hotel. He is one budding photographer I think, he's got a great way with the camera and is so imaginative. We tried catching the headlights of the cars passing on the street below and had a lot of laughs in the process - quick, quick, now! Aaawww... Again - now, now!

We strolled along the Seine on my last day, after window shopping in Saint-Germain-de-Pres and I like that kind of holiday time the most. Just wandering along, seeing what you find and ending up wherever you do.

One of the things I like the most about travelling are the exotic smells. Doesn't really matter what, just whatever reminds me that I'm in a foreign country. I still suddenly find myself back in India whenever I smell anything resembling the smoke from smouldering burnt rubbish and it always makes me happy before I realise what I'm actually smelling. :) In France it was more from baking wafting out from the boulangeries, smell of lunch from the sidewalk restaurants, a wiff of incense from an open doorway, laundry somewhere or just summer sunshine warming the pavement.

In the end we ended up by Notre Dame and sat people-watching on the side for a while, resting our feet. Wish I could have spent some more days with them, strolling around breathing in the atmosphere, but there it is. It's back to work for me now. I'm so revitalised though, it did the trick those two days. I'm inspired too, French people have so much better taste in clothes than the British (sorry!) and I saw many people who had their own style going on. Perhaps that is a capital city phenomenon, but still. I love seeing different cultures.

That was a happy little holiday for me. Thank you mum and dad! Love you.

catching up

Happy June to you!

I feel lucky in that the warm sunny weather we had in April gave me a chance to have my summer holidays then, in those precious weeks inbetween my college years, and now that the May weather has been blustery and rather cold I've not had a chance to complain anyway with assignments to write. I always love this time of year though, remembering the last days of school as a kid before the summer break that began in the first week of June, lilacs flowering and the fresh green everywhere, whispering promises of free time adventures.

I feel like I've got some catching up to do, so here are the things I would have blogged about had there been the time:

Goodbye old friend...

Hello new sewing machine!

I've been so happy with my old Singer handcranked machine that for a long time I saw no need to have a modern one. It's handled making bags, mending clothes, hemming, sewing stage costumes for the school play, the curtains for the school concert (oh the mileage of black fabric!) and outfits for the dancers, but my imagination gradually started nagging me about the things my friend just can't do. So now I have two.

First thing to make I think will be something with the fabric with spots, perhaps with the green linen I bought a while ago. I've really got a thing for green lately, and always for linen. The fabrics above are from Superbuzzy by the way.

I found this linen skirt in the charity shop and I love wearing it as an apron. Digging my hands deep into the pockets.

I've been exploring taking self portraits of myself lately. For a long time I've just abhorred having my picture taken and the only progress I've made is to allow people to do it on the condition that I don't have to see it afterwards. A good friend that I trust inspired me to look into it though and I want to try it for a while to see what might happen. It is different if I'm the one taking my picture as the control is with me and I can be alone with it, so it's not quite the same as the real thing, but it's a good start for me. Also, deciding to put the photos on flickr makes it more of a challenge. My aims with this endeavour are:

- to feel more comfortable, if not relaxed, in front of the camera
- to get used to what I look like to other people, something I haven't wanted to face
- to let go somewhat of the importance my appearance has to me
- to challenge the image I have of myself in my head, something similar to what I'm doing with this blog
- to show who I am to other people, something I dread and again want to do with this blog

Last thing is - these bracelets:

I'm thoroughly enjoying exploring what it means to be a woman, something that takes a bit of courage for a tomboy like me. Bracelets is the latest thing and those colourful little beads have been the sunshine of my day since I got them on our Isle of Wight camping holiday. The bigger bead bracelet was a gift from a very good friend who visited from the States the last couple of weeks.

Well, that's quite enough for now... Enjoy your summer days!