My Pocket

bird balance

This little bird has been singing in my ear since I passed him on my way chasing setting sunlight yesterday. I've kept the photo open to look at while doing other things and that little body perched on a twig above has been speaking to me. I love the balance birds have - tail in the air, head tilted, eyes alert, feet gripping the tiny perch below, trusting that it will support them until they fall forward and plunge into flight on those swift little wings. As fleeting and busy their lives are, that brief moment when they alight has so much stillness, peace and purpose to it.

My wishes today:

~ To have more female kindred spirits in my life
~ To be able to give more freely and not be held back by my fear and awkwardness
~ To be able to see the magic in all things great and small
~ To have the courage to see myself for who I am, the challenging but also the wonderful
~ To let myself be, who I am, right now, whether I will change or not

Wishing you light wings, fresh breezes to sail on and soft, safe nests to recover in.

lady birds, lady birds

Well, there wasn't much else going on in my life apart from college assignment writing so this is the most significant thing to happen to me today (yes, I do live a very quiet life):

lady birds...

...everywhere. I don't where they all came from but I leisurely counted 15 of them in one window running about. Eeek!

room for living

This week I thought I'd show you around our place. Starting in the living room/study/dining room/craft room, the first of our two rooms. We live on the first floor in a typical British cottage that was built sometime in the beginning of the previous century. It has been split into two levels, the door to the downstairs living areas is bricked up which creates two flats.

This room is our living room where we have our meals, where I do my acupuncture studying and where I have my craft corner. I have a perfectly well suited, spacious desk to do my studying at (bottom right corner in photo) but I quickly made myself comfortable at the dining table as it has the most wonderful view.

Note the piles of college handouts on the floor, I just swipe the table top when it's time to eat. :) I love watching and listening to everything that goes on outside. There's a yearling deer venturing out of the woods several times per day, the wild rabbits are always out hopping around, the doves swoop over the trees and yesterday there were two young boys galloping their horses up the field.

The leaves hanging in the window is a mobile of sorts that I make every autumn. I hang a piece of thread with a glass bead at the bottom to weigh it down. Then I take leaves I've found that have turned vibrant colours and I wrap the thread around the stem to hold the leaf hanging. It's very easy to do and doesn't require any tying but it's a bit difficult to describe. I'll give it a try anyway - you hold the leaf upside down, stem down, let the thread wrap from behind the leaf to the front (basically just crossing the stem once) and then let the leaf drop to hanging down, which should twist the thread into place, holding the leaf in the same place. Err... or you just do it anyway it works! I like having the leaves in the window where they feel like they're still on the tree and the light shines through them.

deer and other things

I've been up early enough to see the deer these last couple of days, going off to do some clinical observations. That's a fancy description for sitting in the corner of an acupuncturist's treatment room, quietly observing all the goings on, taking notes and writing up a description of it. To get a degree in acupuncture you have to do 30 hours of this per year, arranging it yourself. I really like the acupuncturists I go to, they always inspire me and they're so helpful. I can't quite believe I'll be doing this myself in a couple of years' time, that makes me so happy.

The summer sun and warmth has returned to us finally and everytime I go outdoors I feel my body absorbing as much of the nourishing rays as possible. I want to go on holiday soon, leaving this place for a while. I haven't been away much and I need to clear my eyes and my heart. Before the students arrive back and the place fills up again. I hope you have had beneficial times off and away or you are going!

sewing and butterflies

For the moment I'm sewing voile curtains for the boy students' rooms in the cloisters. Their living quarters are called the cloisters because it's a building with an open central square with lawn, trees and a pond. The 30 odd rooms all face in towards this and there are covered walkways all the way around to the doors. The walls facing inwards are all window so they need a thin curtain to complement the thick one, just so you can have some privacy but not keep out the light. That's what I'm making, as some need replacing. It's a lot of fabric...

On a completely different note: butterflies.

nice weather for ducks

Finished my essay and my assignment! I am so slow, but I am at least done and relieved. Two less on the road of many this year. The weather has been supportive (I'm not being sarcastic!), pouring outside when I had to stay indoors and write and then breaking up into sunshine and blue skies when I went out. It's nice weather for ducks they say and I believe they're right. The neighbour and his duckpond support a very large community of ducks for the moment. Most of the little ducklings that have been born continually through the spring and summer made it into adulthood and are paddling around the fields. They're hilarious when they're all in a row, all 15 or 20 of them at a time, waddling home with their beaks in the air and in a terribly important rush. When I finally get a good shot of them I'll show you.

I've begun drawing a bit again. I've always drawn on and off since I was a child, I'd do lots and then suddenly stop. Several times I got rid of all my equipment of pencils, paints and brushes and sometimes I saved them again before they were given away. I didn't keep anything of what I drew, or created for that matter. This drawing is one of the few kept because it's part of my personal history in a way. When I was in uni feeling miserable, not wanting to become a doctor but not knowing it yet, I went to see an amazing psychotherapist.

She had as her speciality a kind of visualisation technique where I would lie down on her couch (only then - the armchairs is where we spent most of the time!) and she would guide me to relax and then give me a scenario. This time it was to picture a person, an inner best friend and ally that is only there for you and who you can tell anything. I pictured her. She can do all sorts of things (as you can see :) ), symbolising things I didn't feel I could do, stuck and trapped as I felt then. She's happy too, and open. I still talk to her quite often, she didn't really leave me since then.

That's what I loved about this therapy and this woman, it and she helped me find friends and strengths inside that I didn't know I had. She did it in a way that I felt was respectful, supportive, nurturing, honest and open. She was really there for me and that was what mattered most to me, not the talking or the going over of this and that. She was a surrogate mother, father, true friend and helper and she didn't judge me or what I said. Not to say she didn't raise a few eyebrows and interject a few 'really - are you sure about that?'s, but she didn't judge it, just pointed it out.

Anyway, I'm thinking of showing a few more of my pictures from that time because I'd like to go over them again to remember some more old friends and experiences. You're most welcome to view and read about them and I hope you don't mind me bringing up some personal things. Sometime I'll show you what I'm drawing for the moment too. Oh, I forgot to say - she, my inner friend, asked to be drawn on an envelope, I don't know why or how that came into my head, but that's what she said. I think it had something to do with movement, like an envelope isn't created to lie around and be pretty, it's useful and independent in a way. I drew her while on a train journey too - so movement indeed!

I'm going away for a while now, on some other train journeys, first to college and then to Paris to see my parents and younger brother who are there on holiday. I'll be back on Wednesday and oh I hope I can find some quirky or sweet French things to take pictures of and show you. Well, one is a given I suppose, but I don't know if it's worth it. I mean I won't even see the thing for what it is, I've seen it so many times before and there can't be that many new angles to capture a tower from, can there? I will enjoy myself in any case and boy do I need the change of scenery. Take care of yourselves until then. Have a lovely weekend!

sheep and other creatures

Hello! I'm here. Blogging just hasn't been what I needed to do for this past week. Taking photos was exactly what I needed however, so feel free to have a look where I've been lately. I'm learning to love having my camera with me wherever I go and regret it whenever I decide against it. Like seeing the newly sheared sheep that shone bright white in the sunshine against the green of their field, black faces looking up at me. The sheep in the fields surrounding the school isn't the same breed, but beautiful nonetheless.

The black sheep in the family is my little hero. When she was born her mother left her by the fence after licking her. She was lying with her head down, little thing, and look at her now! Go girl!

I love sheep...

...and pretty much all creatures.

Even though they don't always want to hang out with me...