This is a love letter to my best friend. Would you like to meet him?
We met the first time in an ashram in Rishikesh, India in 1999. I had just celebrated my 20th birthday in the Rajasthani desert with a German girl I had met and travelled with. My clothes were sun-bleached, tattered and few after 4 months of light and swift travel from the north to south and back again. My body had just caught another tummy bug and I had lost weight and the appetite for chapatis forever.
After my friend in travel left for home I decided to go on one last adventure, a slow, inward and familiar one - something I had craved. I had stumbled across yoga through a book four years previously and it had been my friend before it was well known in Sweden. The book was well-loved and worn by now and I wanted someone real to teach me. I couldn't care less about the meditation bit though, preferring to watch the stars come out from one of the roof tops while listening to the pooja starting up on the other side of the Ganges. This while everyone else were sitting in a quiet dark room together for an hour. I had never skipped classes in my life, but it was time.
Shy as ever I hung out with a new found Finnish friend, but gradually spent more time with this British guy who smiled so widely and laughed so readily. We must have introduced ourselves over supper, though I don't remember more than staring at my plate and teasing him about his name out of nervousness.
A week or two went by - we would shyly exchange a few words and jokes after meals, during the brief gathering of people at tea time, after yoga class and in between meditation sessions. I snuck up on him from behind one afternoon when he was writing his diary, slipping my hands over his eyes, but apart from that nothing much was happening.
He was handsome, sweet, intelligent in a way I related to straight away, with a brilliant sense of non-sensical humour and a soft, gentle, humble manner about him that made me feel more comfortable and open-hearted than with anyone I had ever met in my life. However, I was cheeky but not brave. I had never had a boyfriend before out of painful shyness and sensitivity and being in a place with so many people was not going to change that. We exchanged addresses and I left before him, not sensing until then how much I meant to him, and how much he meant to me.
A year later, a bright yellow letter arrived. Waiting for those letters from Britain and eagerly writing back, gradually making a best friend, was one of the happiest times of my life. I'm not the blackest of sheep, but I've never properly fitted in anywhere and here was someone who spoke my language. The butterflies were speaking up too, saying go on, what are you waiting for? I visited him the first time that summer, after months of letters and emails but no phone calls. Meeting someone at the airport whom you know so well, but not at all, is a delightfully confusing thing and we've kind of continued in that vein ever since.
I don't know how it is possible to fall in love with someone you just met, though it was nine years ago, and still not know them, though you've spoken volumes, still have endless mischief left, though we should have grown up by now, laugh as if it was always this way, after all that we've been through, and get butterflies over hearing his voice on the phone, however little time we've been apart. But it is.
the things we do when nobody's looking
thank you for introducing us to your love, duncan. he has a beam of light surrounding his lovely smile. i'm happy for you my friend. xo
ps. i'd love to hear more about india.
Posted by: kristen | Tuesday, 29 January 2008 at 23:20
gosh, he does have the most engaging smile and what a wonderful beautiful introduction, thank you :) i am so happy for you too, xox
Posted by: daisies | Tuesday, 29 January 2008 at 23:24
as you know... this is such a beautiful story that keeps getting better and better. how sweet of you to share your love letter with us...and the photos, they are all so cute. ;-) take care. xo
Posted by: misty | Tuesday, 29 January 2008 at 23:49
What a beautiful tribute to a glowing friendship... the shadow picture is one in a million - *sigh
:-)
(((HUGS))),
Love,
Me
Posted by: PixieDust | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 01:40
what lovely words about a treasured friend. thank you for sharing. i love eyes that sparkle.
Posted by: amy | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 04:37
What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Oceangypsy | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 07:48
Beautiful love story :-)
Posted by: Angie | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 14:12
How positively beautiful...
every word, every photo, every heartfelt emotion.
There is nothing so pure and magical and intensely joyous as 'LOVE'...
THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PART OF YOUR SOUL WITH US...
how blessed you are :)
xoxoxo
Posted by: joan | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 16:59
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning"
xx
Posted by: Linni | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 18:38
What a beautiful lovestory!
Take care, both of you :)
Posted by: Marie | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 19:40
What a beautiful lovestory!
Take care, both of you :)
Posted by: Marie | Wednesday, 30 January 2008 at 19:41
Oh my gosh, where to begin... THAT SMILE! I've never met your love but man, he has awesome smile and it's apparent that he has a vibrant personality, too. I'm so happy for you both. This was a terrific how-we-met story. :)
Plus, I'm in awe of your courage to go traveling to farflung places at such a young age. I longed to do that when I was 21 yrs old but was too chicken. Good for you for GOING!
And I LOVE the Summer Night, You and Me photograph. It's absolutely perfect in it's feeling. And so beautiful.
Posted by: susanna | Thursday, 31 January 2008 at 03:44
This is so sweet. What a beautiful love letter. I love the "things we do when no one is looking" photo - funny!
Posted by: Rebekah | Thursday, 31 January 2008 at 18:54
oh, that is such a beautiful story. i was just coming to have a look at your photos, see who you might be, and i found this heartwarming and truly wonderful little moment that you have shared. it made me so very happy.
-claire
Posted by: claire | Tuesday, 05 February 2008 at 00:27
Mmm...I enjoyed reading this story. you convey su much warmth... and it is such an example of how love sometimes comes slow, in small steps but grows strong... I like that.
Posted by: Anne Marie | Wednesday, 13 February 2008 at 18:03
OH! How I love this story of the creation of your life together... My heart sort of skipped a beat when I read "A year letter, a bright yellow letter arrived..." ...for I know what it means to meet THE ONE...but to have to wait for the timing to catch up. Beautiful. xoxo
Posted by: Marilyn | Saturday, 16 February 2008 at 19:55
Oops! That would be "a year LATER..." Although I suppose "a year LETTER..." would be appropriate, too. ;)
Posted by: Marilyn | Saturday, 16 February 2008 at 19:56