smelling the roses

These November raspberries I picked on my way to work two weeks ago. I'm always late for work in the morning, always. I have a commute of three minutes through the loveliest route - I'll tell you: first through the garden surrounding our little cottage, across the lawn, past the apple trees, under the beeches, then I cross the little lane, into the shady little path under the yew tree leading up to the rose garden gate, then the boxtree flanked gravel path, past the various roses, lavender bushes and chrysantemums, under the grape vines, to the second garden gate, past the greenhouses, the raspberry row, the little orchard and the bench with the wind chime in the tree and the last stretch next to the herb bed and fig trees and I'm there.

I begin my brisk walk rather flustered - woollen hat, mittens and scarf put on in a hurry, jacket buttons buttoned on the run, shoes jumped into while opening the door and key thrown into a pocket. I take the corner of the house berating myself, muttering under my breath - Geez Caroline, you've done it again, how can you be so late! Secretely though, I often thoroughly enjoy myself. Do you ever enjoy doing the small naughty things in life? Like sitting down and relishing a magazine complete with cup of tea when the house is a mess? Or treating yourself to a certain something you came across, for money that should have gone to the supermarket shopping? I don't know what you might do - just that 'what the heck' moment, 'I deserve it'? Well, for the moment, for me it's catching up on years of neurotic time-keeping it seems, and I am so lucky I can get away with it.

I've been an on-the-dot person most of my life. I remember bursting into tears one morning when my mum dropped me off at school because I could see my class already filing into the classroom as we came in the door. I'd be ridiculously early for the rest of my school time or any other appointments, preferring waiting to rushing. That changed somehow, don't ask me when. I've let friends wait for me for an embarrassingly long time - I once found Eli on my porch having completed a whole painting in my absence, making herself at home luckily. As pleased as I am about having learnt to go with the flow more and relax, I don't plan to do that again, now that I've tried it and proved to myself that I'm still ok, I'm still on people's christmas card lists.

I know I will return to being a (mostly) time-keeping person some day though, because I like it. I have to have time to stop and smell the roses, shuffle my feet, breathe in the atmosphere of the places I pass, talk to the trees, watch the birds, smile to people, search out the details that make life richer and more meaningful to me, like patterns here and there, sounds of work being done, smells drifting past and textures wanting to be touched. I'm a touchy-feely person for sure, with all its benefits and draw-backs as being sensitive isn't always a helpful thing. I get so overwhelmed regularly that I reject it all, wanting to stay in bed. However, back to the story: of all these helplessly late mornings I've learnt something. That it is possible to be late and have to rush, but not be stressed. It's more difficult, sure, but you can let your body move quickly without tensing up unnecessarily, let your mind come to peace with the fact that if I miss the bus I'll miss the bus, whether I worry about it or not, allow yourself to enjoy everything that flies past you and perhaps even smile at it.

Of course, I've got it easy - with the most delightful commute, no buses to miss and no strict time-table, so maybe I'm not really allowed to talk about such things, but I wanted to share it with you in case you might find it useful. I'm so happy to have found this Wellness Wednesday sharing through Lunar Musings, and I'd like to try to think of things that I do already and things I'd like to introduce into my life for my own and other people's wellness, on a Wednesday.

Wishing you time to stop and smell the roses (I snatch a twig of lavender myself on my morning rush)

Comments

[maddie]

Caroline ~ this was such a stunning post as I
meandered along your beautiful walk with you ~
and I understand so well the bliss of
letting go and living in the moment ~
it is the greatest gift I believe we can
learn from life:)

You would just love love love a book
I read and cherish very much called
"Einsteins Dreams" it is so poetic and
follows this pondering thought of
how we view time and live time
in our lives ~

Let me know if you can get it otherwise
I will send you my copy:)

[Colorsonmymind]

I just found your blog through maddie. Oh it is soooo lovely! Your photographs are stunning and you write so delicately-prettily-oh I can't describe it, but I am smiling and happy to have found your blog:0

[kristen]

I've gotten better about letting being on time go, especially if I was lucky enough to have a walk to work such as yours.

[Anne Marie]

Another lovely Caroline post! I agree so much with you, don't worry about the things you can't do anything with.

In the mornings I like to have good time, because I hate having to run to catch the metro, but the times I realize that I'm not going to get there in time however fast I run, I just stroll down and take the next. There is always a next Metro, and the next metro lets you smell the flowers and listen to the birds as you walk on your way.