three things about writing

I've never considered myself to be a writer. I only ever write here and in the past have only ever written for school assignments or in emotional places that were too hard to see clearly without following a pen across a page. I've never kept regular diaries or notebooks, not kept anything apart from the pages here.

My relationship is the same to writing as it is to drawing - I love it, and I love it the most when I haven't got a clue where the sentences in a paragraph or the curves of a sketch appear from. Those are the times I almost keep what I've created, when it feels like it wasn't really me in the first place. But I get so attached to what I write or draw, a pride that perhaps stems from my dad who is always fiercely proud of what his children create. It makes me feel sick eventually, the desperation of wanting to be great. So I let it go, throw it away. Apart from here.

From the beginning I have been letting quickly written blog posts go out, trying not to think too much about my writing style, just carefully looking them over for missing rhythm or the occasional right word. Lately I've poured over them more though, thinking about who I am in my writing... Worrying that it is off-putting, not personal enough. That I am still too attached to the beauty of language, forsaking the down and dirty version that would have shown more of me. I've compared myself to people whose writing I get lost and absorbed in, who don't dress up their honesty in beautiful words, who use shorter sentences, who dare address their readers differently, who make the most mundane things sound inspiring, who wrap it all up in a satisfying bundle at the end.

I've wanted to be more like this and that, collecting aspects to try, aching to be different. Feeling stuck with a style I never accepted was mine, thinking it's only what I've been using until I find my own. Which is true, I want to change more and more into what is me. But, this is me already. This is my voice that I have to work with. It's been a bit of a shock to realise, as it's been a shock to see that my photos will always have traces of me, always be of the same mould regardless of where I will go.

It's been time to pull the strings of those dreamy balloons closer to me, to realise where they are tethered to, where they'll always originate from however far out in the ether I've pictured them. And that is good. Life is telling me in yet another way that I am ok. Even though I'm sighing at the end of the string - oh not her again! Why does it always come back to her? I know her so well and I much prefer the exotic ways of these other people, why can't I be like them instead?

So in the middle of this figuring out what it's like to accept the limitations and possibilities of this specific patch of earth I'll always be standing on and what to make of it, I got tagged. I'm to write three things about writing. I was delighted at first, the pride of having your writing noticed. Then ashamed, because I really have no advice for that kind of writing, you know writing writing. I want to write about those aspects I've collected from other people, what I want to be like but am not yet. But I can't do that, that's cheating, really. So calming down I realised I'll just have to write about the few things I do know, about blog writing.

Number one is pretty much already dealt with - be who you are. Make the most of what your voice offers, whether that is frank and humorous, poetic and dreamy, honest and true to emotion, factual and trustworthy or wild and spontaneous. Figure out what you write well and aim toward some aspects you think would improve your writing, but never forget where you're coming from and what your basic personality is like.

Number two is to not be afraid to go into the little things. For myself and perhaps other people too, I'm still too polite and shy, not wanting to take up time or effort of other people and being frugal with the words. Somehow it feels helpful to summarise our lives for the ease of the reader, giving the bare bones of our daily life, feelings or thoughts. But when I read my own stuff, the writing I like the most is the one that just describes one little thing or experience in depth, where I can really feel it, like being there.

So rather than 'I did the laundry, had coffee in town and laughed with my boyfriend' perhaps 'the mountain of whites was overflowing into the next room and I had to wade to the washing machine, but that feeling of having a neatly folded pile smelling squeaky clean and fragrant, the warmth of the fabric and the tidiness around the empty laundry basket is unbeatable.' Err, never written about that before, but there you go! Hope it makes sense. :)

Number three is to play. Let some magic into your writing, dare a little more. Say something without explaining or apologising for it. Dare be yourself - be contradictory, scrap the false modesty, play around. This is your blog after all and you as you are is so much more interesting than the ideal that we all share. I dare ya! And you should dare me too, god knows I've still got envelopes to push. Want to come play with me?

(I'm supposed to tag three folk now, but I'm so curious about all of you so please will you write three things if I ask you, yes you?)

Right, that wasn't so hard! This one's been sitting nearly finished in my drafts for weeks now, I'm glad it's left the nest. That's two tags down, one to go.

I'm free and light as a bird these days I'm happy to report. The dark clouds that followed me around due to a certain situation have finally shed their rain and the theory exam results arrived today. I pounced on the poor letter and tore it open, more than a little nervous that I flunked the thing. I didn't. Yay! So that's nearly two months of college freedom ahead of me, full of friend get-togethers, crafty projects, novels, poetry and breathing in spring away from that desk.

Yesterday I spent a peaceful afternoon scanning photos from India and Brazil and today I've been making up affirmations to print out, doodle pretty colours on and stash away in a sweet pouch somewhere. I'm preparing for spring cleaning - for the place, my body and my mind. Feeling ready to leap into a new life and that squeaky clean, fragrant, tidy and satisfying place where life is flowing smoothly. The laundry has been overflowing for too long.

Comments

[kristen]

"the laundry has been overflowing for too long..." how this resonates!

me too, my friend me too.

[darlene]

i have enjoyed your writing from the first tiem i read you and your writing advice, so wonderful :)

and yes, the laundry has been overflowing for far too long ...

[ruby]

oh caroline,

i am so happy to have found your blog!! your writing is beautiful altho i am not surprised, given the beauty and emotion that emanates from your photos. i think that artists see the world in a certain way that comes across regardless of the medium -- be that in beautiful photographs or eloquent phrases...you may feel more comfortable in one medium than another but the real beauty is in how you, as an artist, see the world. thank you for letting your readers witness that.

[Rachel]

I love your writing voice, dear Caroline. You've captivated me since the very first time I stumbled into your wooded little glen of a space here. I will don my thinking cap and post three things about writing sometime soon, too. Enjoy your well deserved break from school!

[Rebekah]

Yay for passing your exams!! What a wonderful post about writing. I related to so much of what you said...as a new blog writer that is full of self doubt this offers some very good advice. Thank you. I enjoy your writing so much and look forward to each new post. Good luck with your spring cleaning!

[Knitsational]

You are a beautiful and inspiring writer. And your gift is truly a blessing to those of us who are "lucky" enough to stuble upon it.

[Knitsational]

Me again! I "stumbled upon" your photo "Dance When You're Broken Open". I love that! I love Rumi. Very beautiful.

[PixieDust]

Your writing voice is perfect pitch, mi Amor... because it is yours... you are so special, from the moment I first came to your blog I was enchanted... share as much as you would like, whether it is laundry or more, laundry is just as everyday, the simple little things are reminders to all of us that we are connected to everything and everyone even in the little steps, and remind us also that we are our own, yes?

(((Abrazos)))!!!!

Love,
Me

:-)

[Gillian]

Good evening, or late evening for you, Caroline;D
HOw you doing? YOu know, you are right on so many levels. I find it is best to write in a "stream of consciousness" style. That is what works best for me. I am a "straight to the point with a bit of poetry tossed in" type writer. But for the most part, it is simple. I guess we all should just be ourselves, instead of striving to be something we aren't.
Congratulations on passing the exam! Wonderful!!!
I too, am in a spring cleaning type mood, and love doing laundry. Not ironing...just laundry. It smells so damn good!
xoxo

[rhayne]

WOW..such wonderful advice, and it couldn't have come my way at a better time! I will take your words to heart as I go through these beginning blog stages. I will remember most of all, to PLAY!! Isn't that what being creative is all about? Yay!

[rhayne]

WOW..such wonderful advice, and it couldn't have come my way at a better time! I will take your words to heart as I go through these beginning blog stages. I will remember most of all, to PLAY!! Isn't that what being creative is all about? Yay!

[susanna]

Never doubt your writing voice, Caroline. You write so beautifully! In fact, you are one of my favourite online writers. You've given terrific advice regarding writing. Have you heard of the online self-publishing book company, Blurb? They have an option for their blogging clients to publish their favourite posts in book form. I'm thinking of doing that this year...

And yay for your exams being over and for your problem being solved! Now you can take a much-needed break and delve into all the relaxing and rejuvenating things you love.

[Chloe]

Caroline- I absolutely adored your advice on writing. I loved how you described wanting your style to be different than what it is, aching to be great. Don’t we all! I’m not a writer and always feel so plain and ordinary compared to the bloggers who are “real” writers. I have no idea what my voice or style is so I just plop something out there. But you? It’s funny to read that you feel that way. Your writing and photography styles are so special and very unique.

Congratulations on your exams! Sounds like a heavenly couple of months ahead.

[kateri]

What is "writing" writing anyway? I say that too. But really, if it's true and it comes from the places that are real....isn't all writing, "writing" writing? I wonder. I don't know, Caroline...when I read an authentic voice...such as your blog, or such as the words of say, Virginia Woollf, it pulls me in and when I leave I am a little different than I was before...subtle. Anyhow, I am wandering. But this was a wonderful post...and I love the bit about play and magic and daring to be who you are....once agian it's that authentic voice. Easy to recognize. Impossible to imitate. You know? Thank you for this post... I knew you would have something interesting to say :)

xo

[kateri]

What is "writing" writing anyway? I say that too. But really, if it's true and it comes from the places that are real....isn't all writing, "writing" writing? I wonder. I don't know, Caroline...when I read an authentic voice...such as your blog, or such as the words of say, Virginia Woollf, it pulls me in and when I leave I am a little different than I was before...subtle. Anyhow, I am wandering. But this was a wonderful post...and I love the bit about play and magic and daring to be who you are....once agian it's that authentic voice. Easy to recognize. Impossible to imitate. You know? Thank you for this post... I knew you would have something interesting to say :)

xo

[Marie]

~Don't underestimate yourself through comparing yourself to others. It is our differences that make us unique.~
Unknown

Your blog is unique and I love it!
Hug from Marie

[maddie]

Caroline I adore your writing ~ you
are enchanting and slip between words into
the spaces ~ you fill me up with faeries and
clouds of spring scented laundry and
i always leave here so much happier and
lighter in heart:)

smoooch!

[joan]

"...Want to come play with me?"

I have wanted to come play with you from the very first time I saw your banner, read your intimately lyrical musings, and saw tiny peeks here and there of your beautiful face and your beautiful soul.

Every word you wrote was perfect and so much resonated so deeply with me.

March has been difficult indeed and I have missed you dearly my beautiful friend.

Please know not one single day goes by when I do not think of you, smile, and send you love across the miles so that our heart strings may forever be intertwined.

love on the wings of Spring...

xoxox

[Jessie]

caroline, i could swim around in these words for days and even then want to return back for more.

you have refreshed my blog writing spirit. ;)

[Carolina Eclectic]

I think your writing is so wonderful and magical. I love reading your blog, because it transports me to a fantastic place. I envy your ability to express your emotions so wonderfully.

[megg]

this was delicious! I giggled when you said, "There - one meme down..." I have felt like that too.

My three things have to be short but I'd say:
1) write every single day. No matter what.
2) write what delights you.
3) read a lot.

xo