Mondo Beyondo 2008 Part 2

~ Mondo Beyondo 2008 Part 2 ~

What are the things you are wanting to manifest that are almost too scary to even write down? The ones that elicit a gremlin response of "You can't have that!" or "Who are you to ask for that?" or "Fat chance. That will never happen. You're not a good enough....(fill in the blank)"

Are you nervous? You should be. This list should be a bit dangerous. It should make you feel a little shy and excited. Butterflies abound.

How are your butterflies? I am keeping one or two of mine hidden away to do their delightful little dance - one's got to have some wonderful secrets to oneself right? Just between me and the universe. Have you got your secret wishes and impossible dreams nearby? I'm doing the quick and dirty version like Andrea, but I want to have some detail and juiciness in them, to give them magic. Here are some of mine:

~ Finding kindred spirits in the new place we are moving to sometime this year. People who make me laugh, who are strange and wonderful, inspiring and up to mischief. Folk who like simple pleasures like me (anyone up for some pine cone collecting?), having dinners on the floor, coming up with outrageous games on long walks, finding more colour and poetry and magic in life, daring me to come out of my shell and trusting me with what's on their minds.

~ Getting a new job in the new place that makes me wake up happy and excited. Oh, here's where my gremlins come in... I'm surprised they didn't poke their heads out in the point above, I think you guys have given me some courage in the friends section :). Right, I would like... a part-time job that gives me energy just to think about it, where the hours fly, I have co-workers who make me laugh, I do something that suits me so well I don't think about it as work, in a place that I find safe and inspiring, close to where we live and with hours that make me feel like I have so much time in my day. Well, we're supposed to dream big aren't we? Oh, and I'd like it to be well-paid please. Because I am trying to believe that I deserve it.

~ Finding a place to live that we love when we move. Can you tell moving is on my mind? :) A pretty, old fashioned house or flat with a lush garden, light spacious rooms, a kitchen I feel happy in, a bathroom with a window and everywhere quaint details, white walls, wooden accents and fireplaces. A rent that we'd be happy to pay, situated near to a park, the waterside and the railway station. Oh, and dogs need to be allowed.

I'm getting quite good at this dreaming now, just trying hard not to write...i.don't.deserve.any.of.this...

~ Fulfilling my long wished for dream of adopting a dog. And managing just fine, financially, work-wise and house-wise. A dog that finds me and wants to be with us, that is happy with our situation and gets on fabulously with our lifestyle. That I find a dog-sitter if I work the wrong hours and that she/he is happy to do a swap - acupuncture treatment for dog-sitting.

~ Having more income than I've dreamed of coming in from my creative output. Something that is already happening thanks to you wonderful people! I just need to keep believing that I can do it because I've got so many ideas and dreams to try out and put on offer. It's not work at all, it's joy! I want to expand it to the point that I can work from home in a little studio a day per week. This might not come true this year, but I'm allowed to dream and let the opportunities in right?

OK, now I just need the courage to press publish on this... They're my dreams, please go gently on them. Why is it that we feel so much more safe and comfortable with punishing ourselves and giving ourselves the very minimum, not allowing dreams and fantasies to become reality? Lately so many good things have happened to me that I'm finding it hard to relax - surely something horrible must happen soon to compensate? We're rarely loved for saying what we want, are we. Never encouraged to dream big and want the rainbow. It is so much easier to sink to rock bottom, where nothing disappointing or threatening can ever happen, but nothing wonderful and surprising either.

This poem I put up in the summer last year, but I'd like to post it again, for all you lovely people who inspire me daily. Especially Joan, whose joy never ceases to amaze me. It's a translation (by me) from the Swedish poet Karin Boye's poem Hemlös (Homeless):

To lose the home that is the soul and wander far
and then be unable to reach anything else,
and find that one has forgotten all that truth is
and think that one is made of lies alone
and feel sick with oneself and hate one -
yes that is easy, yes that is quite easy.
Sorrow is easy, but joy is proud and challenging,
for joy is the simplest of all.

But the one, who seeks a home to know,
must not believe, that it is anywhere -
he must wander homeless for some time;
and one who is of lies and wishes to heal
he must hate himself until he knows
from truth, that which others are given for free.
What is it worth to grieve so for that?
Wait, my heart, and have patience!

That is what life and dreaming is about to me. It isn't easy, it takes courage and hard work, but who said it had to be miserable and yield less than absolutely wonderful? Like this quote from Liselotte's blog, she's a lovely Danish illustrator I came across today, and I hope I got the Danish right here:

Life is not easy, just fantastic

This is my photo of inspiration for this year:

Not that I am always behind him, I love being everywhere around him and on my own. On a path, winding somewhere into a wood, across a field, over a stile, into meadow and beyond, somewhere in the British countryside.

Wishing you impossibly wonderful, spine tinglingly exciting and unbearably delightful wishes, hopes and dreams. Love you guys.

ps. Another poem by Karin Boye if you're interested

Comments

[kristen]

my friend, you are delightful. i have been trying to write my list today...i think mine will be for this weekend.

i love your dreams and can't wait to see how everything manifests as this year unfolds.

i'm glad you pushed send.

much love. xo

[PixieDust]

You deserve all this and more! Dream big, it is the only way to do it, dream what is in your heart that has mesmerized me so...

:-)

What a beautiful day when I stumbled into your "Pocket". I wish I was moving somewhere near you so that we can play daring games while enjoying the beauty around us...

Love to you...

(((HUGS))),
Me

[Carolina Eclectic]

Caroline, this is such a wonderful list. I have to say, that I felt butterflies too, as I read it. I know how difficult it is true overcome the voices in your head. I think you are very talented, and such a sweet spirit...I know you will go far with your dreams.

[joan]

Beautiful soft warm droplets of tears...
tears of joy, tears of longing and understanding, and tears of dreaming bigger than we ever thought we had a right to.

Everything about this post just sings of hope and optimism and Joy.
I've no doubt Caroline that everything we ask of the Universe is waiting to be showered upon us... if we would only ask.

You my most beautiful little soul, are so worthy and so deserving of all of life's beauty and goodness.

Your spirit is like an early morning drink from a cool babbling brook...

every time I visit you I come away feeling refreshed, and uplifted... hopeful and a little more able to pick up that walking stick and continue on that chosen path.
The path where we do walk side by side... each trying to honor our truest self, trying to find our way amongst poets and writers and artists... women who have the same heart and carry the same visions and dreams.

I creid when I read the poem, for yes... my soul wandered homeless for far to many seasons of the moon.
And finally, finally, I have made a tiny little place for myself within.
A place with a garden view, and the sound of the sea.
A place cozy enough for two... maybe three.
A place of books and dreams, and paint sticks and rain sticks too.
A place I am so happy you have found, and embraced, and know you are always welcome.

I love you so dearly my beautiful friend,
and I thank you that your butterfly wings leave their gossamer trail all over my heart...

[daisies]

your dreams are so beautiful and i do believe that they can absolutely come true :) i can see you playing with your dogs in your garden surrounding by laughter and friends and magical beauty as you stretch your artwork out to the world full of inspiration and joy ... it all sounds so wonderful :)

much love
xoxox

and thank you for sharing these beautiful poems!!

[Marilyn]

Love your dreams...love that you added specific detail to them. You might want to think about creating a collage with images of what you're looking for in a new home...could help you manifest the dreamy place you imagine. :) May all those dreams come true for you in 2008! xoxo

[kateri]

I have to begin with that BUTTERFLY! I do not think I have seen a more beautiful butterfly!

But your intentions for this new year are lovely (I adore pine cone hunting) and I am excited to see where you end up on your move! I think where you are now is quite spectacular and dreamy...

and I am curious to know what kind of job you will choose, too :)

Anyhow...you have inspired me to take stock of my wishes for myself this year. And to go find butterflies...but not for many months! We are only in the beginning of a long winter here! xx00xx

[Susan Jonsson]

I am deeply moved and inspired by your writing and photographs. I long to find that path....the one that leads from dense forest foliage into the sunlight beyond...."and know is for the first time."
....Thank you for sharing such a personal story....

Susan

[Periwinkle]

Sweet Caroline...(make me think of that old song :-)

I can hear the softness in your words...
I can hear every detail of desire in your heart for your dreams....
i hear your hopefulness...
and your fear...

I'm so excited for your dreams...
I'll be standing on a pathway in the British Countryside...please wear a bright red shirt...with flowers in your hair...

When we meet, we will have a cup of tea under a big tree in a forest...and talk about dreams coming true! xx

[Linni]

Can you pls send me your email address?...
Have this 'urge/feeling' in my heart to email you....xx

[Marilyn]

I've given you a "You Make My Day" award...details at my blog. ;)

[maddie]

*shreek!!*

i LOVE that greeener than greeenly photo!

LOVE it!

ahem ~ about that new home ~ make sure
(please) that there is an extra room
for me to visit:)

I will collect pine cones and sea pebbles with
you while we are walking your dog:)

i believer all ~ every one of your
wishes are in the process of coming true

(hugs)

happy sunday!

[maddie]

*shreek!!*

i LOVE that greeener than greeenly photo!

LOVE it!

ahem ~ about that new home ~ make sure
(please) that there is an extra room
for me to visit:)

I will collect pine cones and sea pebbles with
you while we are walking your dog:)

i believer all ~ every one of your
wishes are in the process of coming true

(hugs)

happy sunday!

[megg]

What a lovely post! I was feeling a bit nervous about posting my dreams for some reason this week. I had an easy time writing about what I want to let go of but not such an easy time writing about what I want this year...

I'll do it this week!!

Maybe we will be moving to the same place!!

p.S. I have somehow accidentally deleted your email from before. Could you answer this again so I can write back properly?!

xo

[Thea]

good for you-being brave-putting these wishes out there.

I still am working on mine:)

I love this photograph.

[susanna]

This a good list and I really do believe that everything you have wished for IS attainable. ALL of it! I'm going to put out a little prayer that all of these things will find their way to you this year.

[Liselotte]

Thanks for the beautiful words about my illustrations and yes... you got it! My believe is, that life isn't easy, just fantastic. Living that wisdom is a daily challenge, but trying get's the best out of each and every day :-)

Have a wonderful saturday :-)